The Lexingtonienne

September7th

4 Comments

Pop Tart!

Posted in: Recipes

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When I was about 15, my dad took my friend Mary Beth and me to a UK basketball game. We went with my uncle Johnny, my cousin Hunter, and our family friend Bret.

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After the game, we all went to the world-famous Tolly Ho — a greasy spoon full of salty dogs and drunk college kids — for some late-night hamburgers.

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As we sat at a table in the back and ordered some Ho-burgers and fries, we noticed two guys at the table next to us. I couldn’t tell you how old they were, because I was 15 at the time, and at that point, everyone over 25 falls agelessly under the broad heading of ADULT. My dad would probably remember, but I’d guess they were around 30.

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Anyway, one of the guys was kinda drunk. The other guy was REALLY drunk.

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Kinda Drunk introduced us to his buddy Really Drunk. “This is Pop Tart!” He announced. With great effort through his extreme inebriation, Pop Tart managed a crooked smile. “Pop Tart just found out today that he’s gonna be a daddy! So now he’s engaged too!”

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Our group died laughing at this. Pop Tart seemed like he’d be a nice enough guy when sober, but he was obviously having a total FML kind of day, much to the amusement of everyone around him.

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Pop Tart wasn’t much of a conversationalist that night — he’d strung together so many shots throughout the evening that by the time we met him he could hardly string two words together, which in itself was highly entertaining to all of us.

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Finally, Pop Tart and his buddy’s food arrived. Pop Tart took one look at his Ho-burger, and with a slight spin of his head, dropped his face right down into the plate, passed out cold. Our table roared with laughter.

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About a year later, my dad and I were in Foot Locker at Fayette Mall, when we noticed a guy who looked vaguely familiar. “Why, it’s Pop Tart!” my dad whispered, tickled to death.

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Alas, we didn’t think Pop Tart would remember us from the evening at Tolly Ho, so we didn’t try to say hello or ask how his baby or presumable wife were doing.

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When Pop Tart glanced in our direction without the slightest register of recognition, we knew for sure that he didn’t recall our encounter. We, on the other hand, will never forget Pop Tart.

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HOMEMADE STRAWBERRY POP TARTS
Adapted from Bon Appetit

2 C plus 2 T all-purpose flour (plus additional for rolling out dough)
1 t salt
1 t sugar
2 sticks chilled unsalted butter, cut into small cubes
4 T ice water
12 T strawberry preserves (BA recommends “homemade organic” – HAHA! I used Smuckers jam.)
Powdered sugar

Whisk together flour, salt, and sugar in a large bowl. Add butter, blending with fingertips until a coarse meal forms. Add ice water by tablespoonfuls, tossing until moist clumps form. Shape the dough into a ball, then divide in half. Shape each half into a disk, wrap each disk in plastic wrap, and chill for at least 1 hour.

Line 2 large, rimmed baking sheets with parchment. Working with 1 disk at a time, roll out dough onto a floured surface, shaping into a 12×10 inch rectangle. Using a paring knife, cut dough into eight 5×3 inch rectangles.

Arrange 4 rectangles onto each baking sheet. Spoon 1 1/2 T preserves down the center of each. Top each rectangle with a second rectangle. With your fingertips, gently press the edges of each tart to seal, then press edges with a fork to double seal. With a toothpick, poke holes in the center of the top dough rectangles. Cover with foil and freeze tarts at least 2 hours and up to 1 week.

Position 1 rack in the top third and 1 rack in the bottom third of the oven. Preheat to 375. Bake frozen tarts uncovered until golden, about 25-30 minutes, reversing sheets after 15 minutes. (BA says some preserves may leak out. Mine leaked out everywhere.) Immediately transfer pop tarts to a rack. Sift powdered sugar on top. Serve warm or at room temperature.

Now, I must be honest with you. These weren’t all that hard to make, but there were a lot of steps involved and with all the chilling and freezing, it takes a very long time from start to finish. In the end, these taste like Christmas cookies, so they are delicious. But honestly, I would save my mixing and chilling and rolling out and cutting out for Christmastime. For now — although these pop tarts were very, very good — I say BUY your pop tarts.

See? Aren’t you glad you have me to go to all this trouble for you, so you don’t have to? :)

xoxo,
Hannah

4 Comments

  • Comment by Brandi — September 7, 2010 @ 2:26 pm

    can I come live with you for a little while?

  • Comment by bonnie martin — September 13, 2010 @ 10:59 pm

    I wonder if Hunter remembers this night at Tolly Ho? I’m sure Johnny doesn’t. He was probably in the same shape as pop tart. Haha.

  • Comment by lori — September 17, 2010 @ 3:53 am

    I think your dad sees Kinda Drunk every now and again. I think he works at Rafferty’s, or somewhere like that.

  • Pingback by The Queen of Hearts, She Made Some Tarts - The Lexingtonienne — February 11, 2011 @ 12:51 pm

    […] Do you remember when I made homemade strawberry pop tarts? […]

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