As you know, I took myself on a little candy bar tour of England. It’s kind of like being in Willy Wonka land — all the choices seem outlandish and whimsical, many have slightly onomatopoeic names, and the ingredients (Aerated chocolate? Honeycombed centres?) definitely sound like they came from an oompa loompa-powered think tank.

As a reminder, these were the contenders:

The Cadbury Twisted – a Cadbury Creme Egg that comes in bar-form and is available, apparently, all year round – and the Topic bar, which is essentially like a Snickers but with hazelnuts instead of peanuts.

White Maltesers – white chocolates with crisp, light honeycombed centres – and the Cadbury Starbar, made of milk chocolate with a caramel and peanut centre. Haha – “centre.” Those Brits.

Wispa – aerated milk chocolate – and Twirl – two milk chocolate fingers – which, I admit, I chose in a hurry and didn’t realize were just plain chocolate. Automatic disqualification.

And finally, the Cadbury Double Decker – milk chocolate with a soft, chewy nougat top and crunchy cereal bottom – and the Nestle Drifter, a crispy wafer dipped in chewy caramel and covered in chocolate.

And the winner is… STARBAR… for its classic and delicious combination of milk chocolate, peanuts, and caramel, as well as its top-notch moniker. The Drifter was a close second… but “Drifter”? What is that? Congratulations, STARBAR… you’re really good.

More soon from the Eternal City…

Oompa Loompa Doompety Doo,