The Lexingtonienne

February12th

8 Comments

Dear Eleanora and Charlotte,

A little over a year ago, a dear friend of mine passed away unexpectedly, leaving her precious babies to navigate life without their mama. When each of you were born, my greatest fear became losing you, until I considered an even deeper fear: that you might lose me, while you are still small and vulnerable and very much in need of your mama. I hope and pray that never happens to us, my sweet girls. But while we are here together, appreciating the preciousness of life, there is something that is essential for me to tell you.

Almost 6 months

At the moment I gave birth to you, I also gave life to a love which came from within me, but which began to exist outside of me, as a bubble floats into the air.

Eleanora and Charlotte February 2015

But unlike a bubble, my love is neither fragile nor ephemeral. It can never be broken, diminished, or destroyed. It cannot die with me. And so you must know this:

I'll Be Loving You Always

When I am someday called away from this life, that love I created for you will still exist in the world.

Eleanora and Charlotte Summer and Fall 2014

My love will expand with each daily sigh of the humble earth, and it will do what I cannot: it will live forever.

November 2014

My love will surround you and your children, and even your children’s children.

I'll Be Loving You Always

Charlotte December 2014

The world will know I was here because my love will still be here, still growing, still doing the important work.

Isle of Palms Vacation May 2014

So no matter what, I’ll be loving you always.

Eleanora and Charlotte Summer and Fall 2014

But not to worry, little ones. It is my full intention to embarrass you throughout your teenage years, to terrorize your father by repeatedly going over budget when you and I plan the weddings of your dreams, and to feed your children loads of chocolate and skip their naps when I come over to babysit.

Eleanora and Charlotte February 2015

All the while, I will be loving you.

I'll Be Loving You Always

Eleanora November 2014

Then, when all those days have come and gone, when centuries have turned like pages in a book, and we are no longer even anyone’s memory but rather only faint imprints on the genes of our distant descendants, my love will still be here, still growing, still doing the important work. And I will still be loving you.

Eleanora and Charlotte February 2015

I'll be loving you always

I’ll be loving you, always.

Isle of Palms May 2014

Happy Valentine’s Day,
Hannah

8 Comments

  • Comment by George Zack — February 12, 2015 @ 8:50 pm

    This text, coupled with lovingly cute and touching photos made peace descend on my spirit, which, except for moments like this, was enraged. Thank you, and thank God for that never ending love. George

  • Comment by Hannilou — February 12, 2015 @ 11:09 pm

    Dr. Zack, I’ve been writing my little blog for almost five years now, and yours is BY FAR the loveliest and most fulfilling comment I have ever received. This entry is so personal to me that I was almost too bashful to share it. Thank you for this encouragement; it goes a long way. Yours, Hannah

  • Comment by Par Flanagan — February 12, 2015 @ 11:50 pm

    I’m so touched, Hannah, by this love letter…Dr. Zack is right, a peace which passes all understanding. If only, I could express myself so beautifully! You are a gift to all who know you, Hannah! Thank you for sharing such intimate feelings…your girls are so fortunate!

  • Comment by dan — February 13, 2015 @ 7:25 am

    You are clearly a very gifted writer and a very loving mother. Thank you for sharing this.

  • Comment by Maggie — February 13, 2015 @ 10:32 pm

    This is so beautiful, Hannah…..so well said. I can’t begin to tell you how happy I am that you are the mother of my sweet, beautiful grandaughters. Motherhood is the ultimate gift !!

  • Comment by Mary — April 18, 2015 @ 7:48 pm

    This is simply the best! You are, in my humble opinion, an astounding and superb mamma to your baby girls. You’ve set an example and a standard for the mamma I hope and pray to one day be a fraction of. I love your girls and I love you! I also strongly enjoy the picture of Eleanora standing with arms outstretched in the rain. That personality:) Miss you guys and hope all is well. Xx

  • Comment by Lauren Mc-S — February 8, 2016 @ 6:45 pm

    Hannah, just stumbled on this today and a year later, it’s nearly Valentine’s again. You’ve expressed exactly how I feel about my daughters, too. Thank you so much for posting this. Awesome!!

  • Comment by Lolly — August 18, 2017 @ 3:17 pm

    Hannah,

    That is one of the most moving and beautiful texts I think I have ever read. You are such a talented and devoted mama. Your girls are so lucky you are their mother, and I know you would say you are the lucky one:)

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